Saturday Night Nausea

On my near-epic quest to find that one person in the world I was meant to be with, I set out to our usual hang-out on Saturday nights--- BED Malate for a much needed break from the monotony of my alone-ness. Although I wasn’t really there looking for a perfect mate, I am on the lookout. But on this particular Saturday night, I decided to dress down and chillax with friends over a few drinks and nice conversation. Or so I thought.

We were sms-ing early evening basically asking each other superficial questions from “what are you doing?” to “are you busy?” My mobile phone was heating up with so many text messages coming in and out. V and I were sms-ing about her new found love. I was flirting with a couple of guys. And my mother buzzed from time to time as well asking how I was.

I finally ended up inviting this guy to go out as a “make peace” gesture for him ditching me the previous night. You see what happened was, last Friday our office was called off due to bad weather conditions and I decided to meet up with some friends and invited this particular guy to hang out with us. It took a while to convince him but I thought to myself I’d like someone to be with when I met up with all my coupled friends. To cut the very lengthy and boring story short, he canceled last minute. And after begging me forgiveness that Saturday was supposed to be his way to make it up to me. Since I believe that some people deserve a second chance, I said yes to meet him which turned out to be a pretty huge mistake.

He arrived almost an hour late. I was already sms-ing V about how pissed off I was. She said I should just ditch the guy and head to Malate. And I almost did that too. But I waited with every minute passing getting even more irritated. He finally arrived and if I remember correctly didn’t even apologize for being THAT late. Or if he did, I didn’t see the sincerity on that apology thus easily forgotten. Anyway, since it was already late and I was already itching to drink. We headed to Malate. The cab ride was extremely awkward though I was trying to lighten things up already. This guy was just too dense or perhaps even inexperienced in the matters of dating. I was beginning to pity him. The only good think about the cab ride was the program on radio that we ended up listening to and laughing our asses off.

It was 97.1, Barangay LS Forever and the program was with a DJ named “Papa Dan” which played Sheryl Cruz’s Mr. Dreamboy in the background the whole time --- a tad bit nauseating really. But what was hilarious about this was the concept of the program. It was P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C! Basically, the DJ would invite two callers, one female and one male, and match them up in an annoying attempt to entertain the entire country. On this particular call, the DJ asked them to do a little “skit” pretending that that guy was asking the girl on the other phone out. Which turned out to be a real thing after the ear-bleeding phone call finally ended.

***
DJ Dan: So, saan mo siya dadalhin para sa date nyo?

Guy: Sa magandang lugar. Doon sa malamig at maganda ang tanawin.

DJ Dan: (injects a lame joke about an ice plant.) Ah talaga saan ba ang asa isip mo na maganda ang tanawin at malamig?

Guy: Sa Baywalk!

It was infuriating and funny at the same time. I never knew I could feel both almost at the same time.

Guy: Pwede ba itanong kung anong size mo? Chubby ka ba or mataba? (There’s a difference--- tinagalog mo lang eh?!?)

Girl: Slim ako. Fit. S-I-xy. (That’s right, she said it with an ‘I’ not ‘E’)

DJ Dan: Meron ka bang kamukhang artista? Sino?

Girl: Meron. Si Angelica Panganiban! (with a very strong Visayan accent)

Guy: WOW!

Girl: Oo, 26 ang size ko! (Size of what??? IQ?)


***


After a few more drinks, my other friends finally arrived and we were finally off to BED. Being at the club was like a social gathering of sorts. Since technically it was one of only two gay clubbing scenes in Metro Manila, you were more likely to meet EXs in an orderly manner. First upon entering the club, one or two would probably greet you, then another while you’re dancing your butt off and then one more as you make your way to the exit pissed drunk. In my case, I saw them randomly across the dance floor. And then you’d see a few more people, not (E)Xs but more of “(WH)Ys.” People you’d either gone out with that never really worked out or someone you’d like to go out with but couldn’t. Again, on my case, I saw both… and more.

In the variety of old and new people you’d meet there it makes one wonder why anybody could still be single. The gay population in Manila has exploded to what seemingly felt like a “fad.” I remember when it was so much easier to find a relationship --- gay meets boy, boy turned out to be straight, gay meets gay, falls in love and cheats eventually, gay meets another and the deadly cycle goes continues. Nowadays, most people had re-defined the concept of love and relationships. And while it’s true that there is a remote possibility of finding your one true love, one could only ask--- is it really out there? And if it is, the million dollar question comes to mind: “Where (the hell) is it?!”

My journey has been long, tedious and sometimes even utterly frustrating. Failed dates aren’t exactly my idea of good living. But one could only try until eventually it becomes right. After all, you could only try to pick the bad apples from the basket in the hopes that you’ll find something golden eventually.

In the many opportunities that life throws at you, one could only hope and pray that the great Odyssey of your life leads you not astray from home. Where, hopefully, someone will be waiting for you and your great journey ends only to begin anew.

Now isn’t that worth waiting for?



Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo